They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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