Your tits are I can't wait for
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
