The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
