How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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