tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
