idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize