I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Enjoy the penises
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
