I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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