i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize