at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
