Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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