Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
