I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
