In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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