You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have fence marks all over my body
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
