Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
