the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
