I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
