I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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