I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
