Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
