you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize