We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
