1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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