My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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