omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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