I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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