I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
