Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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