I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
