he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
