He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
