But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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