I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
