I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
