I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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