i think i have herpe
just one?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize