It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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