I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
