Christians are straight up FREAKS
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
