dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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