oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Vodka?
Forever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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