if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
