jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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