i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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