I can text with my tongue
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
