and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
