it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
