Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
