I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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