In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
