Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Four minutes until I can fart!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
