just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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