just come out here and I will go home with you...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
