Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i would punch a child for taco bell
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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