Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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