hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
