Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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