He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
