I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
