I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
