A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
