you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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