So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
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You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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